In January, Arnold Schwarzenegger will take the helm of Celebrity Apprentice, while its former host, Donald Trump, takes the helm of the United States — though of course he’ll still get credit as an executive producer. As part of that switch-over, the show is getting a new catchphrase for its host to use while firing contestants. “We narrowed it down to like eight of my sayings from the movies and one other option,” Schwarzenegger told The Hollywood Reporter. “But even I don’t know yet.” Since we needed a break from worrying about the fate of our nation, we came up with 21 suggestions that NBC should definitely consider, if it hasn’t already. (Hey, any one of them would be better than Martha Stewart using “You just don’t fit in.”) Enjoy!
“Hasta la vista, business baby.”
“You’re terminated.”
“It’s Judgment Day, and you’re terminated, too.” (For double elimination weeks)
“The machines are rising, and you three are terminated.” (For when artificial intelligence becomes capable of performing white-collar labor.)
“Get to da choppa and outta my boardroom.”
“Get your ass to Mars and outta my boardroom.”
“If you bleed, we’re cutting you.”
“Business is a world of predators. You’re just the prey.”
“I’ll be back. You won’t.”
“Mister, freeze right there, and leave the building.”
“Sadly, your jingle did not go all the way.”
“In my official capacity as Kindergarten Cop, let me tell you that you are not it.”
“You’re totally recalled from this show.”
“To me, you’re expendable.”
“True: You’re bad at this job. Lies: You’re getting to stay.”
“That’s a Schwarzeno.”
“Enough talk! Get out!”
“You’ve just been erased.”
“Your business clothes, give them to me now.”
“You’re incompatible with our business, and not in the good, kooky way defined by my relationship with Danny DeVito in the movie Twins.”
“You’re fired.” (Just to annoy Trump.)